"It’s time we do a little work on ourselves to get our confidence back and grow as individuals."
Every once in a while, we have moments where we feel great, where everything is coming together and we feel good about who we are and what we do each day. It would be nice to always be floating on cloud nine, feeling as if you have everything figured out, like you’re the best you can be, and life is full of purpose. However; I think we can all say that it doesn’t work out that way. At times our confidence is high and other days it may be sitting a little low. This happens randomly or when we have some changes, expected or unexpected in our lives, at work, or in your personal life that has suddenly put you outside your comfort zone. A new change is exciting, like going to the gym, starting a new job, starting a new life experience, until you get there and realize it’s not what you expected, or maybe you didn’t know what to expect at all and suddenly you’re uncomfortable. Most people, including myself, do not like being uncomfortable. It sends a bit of a panic signal encouraging us to return to where we feel safe. I feel it is important to recognise that sometimes this signal can be a false alarm. If you’re lucky, a little voice reminds us that new things, including personal growth, come out of situations where we feel uncomfortable. Trying something new is good for us, but no one mentions that it can also be very hard.
Being uncomfortable suddenly makes you feel insecure and vulnerable which temporarily lowers your self-confidence. So what do you do? You want to move forward but the discomfort urges you to run and hide. How are you going to pull through to the other side without giving up, running and hiding?
I was in a relationship for a while with a very successful man, who made great money. This started to ignite my competitive nature when it came to ‘uping’ my game in my personal career to create a sense of equality. He made good money and lived well and I wanted the same for myself. Unfortunately, the relationship ended, and I was left with a sense of loss, not only because I lost a great friend, but also because I lost the person of status whom I was striving to be like. I also realized something even more disturbing. Being with someone successful gave me a false sense of pride and increased self-importance.
If you step back and really think about it, many superficial and commercial aspects of life can give us the sense of security. I believe that as humans, this is very common and a natural part of who we are. The only problem is that once we find ourselves in a situation where we lose something that once made us feel secure (like our job, our appearance, and our relationships), our confidence is shaken. At this point we have to make choices to rebuild ourselves in a healthy manner so that we don’t spiral into unhealthy habits for temporary security. It’s time we do a little work on ourselves to get our confidence back and grow as a person.
1. Be spiritual
We become so entangled in the daily grind, we forget to stop, to breathe, and to smell the roses. Whether or not you meditate, pray, do yoga or if you choose to take a moment to reflect on what you’re thankful for each day, you can find ways to open your consciousness and get yourself out of thinking and viewing life from a one track mind. If today was your last day on earth, would your feelings change in your current situation? In your purpose in life, how can you grow from your current feelings of insecurity or from the circumstance of your situation?
Using free online motivational videos, meditation, journal writing or even just being out in nature where things are quiet, can give you a sense of peace, which can make the changes and hardships in life seems smaller, or even make sense in a larger scheme.
2. Get Inspired
It could be a family member, a writer, a youtube channel, a motivational speaker or a celebrity that gives a message that speaks especially to you. This would be a great time to listen and get inspired each day. Take time to find some inspiration and be with it each morning before you start your day.
3. Eat Clean and Exercise
This is how you empower yourself. This is a job and a choice that makes you more self-confident and empowered. If you’re feeling low and you take yourself to a fast food restaurant to eat unhealthily, afterwards you’re going to feel more disempowered. If you exercise and eat healthy, immediately, you will begin to feel more empowered through making healthy decisions and giving your body the tools to assist your brain in making you feel alive and well.
4. Forget about everyone else and listen to your inner voice
People will talk, people give you advice, give you compliments or criticism because that’s just what we do as humans. But among all the noise, I highly encourage you to listen to your inner voice. You can do this by imagining a friend is going through the exact same situation you are going through and asking you for advice on what to do and how to deal. Read that last sentence again. That friend is your twin and needs your help, how are you going to give advice in a non-subjective (non-emotionally attached) manor. That is using your inner voice to be your own advisor aside from what everyone else thinks you should be, act or do.
The below video is about understanding self-esteem and how to kick start your confidence. I truly hope this was helpful and feel free to contact me if you have any questions.